The First One

A year ago I had surgery. Surgeries happen every day, but when it's your surgery it's a pretty big deal. I kept a paper journal of the experience so here are some excerpts. (I meant to start this blog a few days ago so I could do the whole 'one year ago' thing, but I procrastinate a lot. Better get used to it.)

7-13-05
Got up really early (for me anyway) to go to Milwaukee to meet with the orthopedic specialist. It took about 2 1/2 hours to get there. Took the elevator to the 5th floor and handed over my x-rays and mri. We were finally called back to an exam room. Finally the dr and his PA came in to meet us. I have an aneurysmal bone cyst on my right calcanus, most likely benign. It has to be cut out, the void in my calcanus packed with donor bone and casted/splinted non-weight bearing for 6+ weeks. I wanted to wait until the first week of August so I wouldn't have to deal with TOM during or so soon after surgery, but I am scheduled for Monday. I wasn't expecting them to get me in so quickly. I wanted to bank my own blood, but was assured that was unnecessary, yet I had to sign consent forms for blood during surgery. Hopefully it's not from some skank with an undetectable disease!!!

I was sent for a chest x-ray (easy), EKG (very easy) and bloodwork (a royal pain). The tech was clumsy, (that's what you get when you go to a teaching facility) caused much pain and my blood d-r-i-p-p-e-d out slowly. The EKG tech kept popping in to see if I was done yet and finally overruled the blood tech. I thanked God for the break from the vampire. When I got back from EKG, the head of the dept did the tap cleanly, quickly and painlessly. Med students are NOT touching me while I'm conscious, I'm just saying.

I got home and called various relatives to tell them what was going to happen. I wish I could have gone for a visit, but there is no time. Then I called my hairdresser for a cut & color - a girl's got to have her priorities!

I have four days to get ready for this.

7-14-05
I have a short fuse and it's only going to get shorter. The dogs are hiding from me, that's how vile my mood is today. While I was out watering our poor suffering landscaping, 2 of the hoses misbehaved. I think I destroyed 2 plants and I did destroy one of the hose reels. I ripped one of the brackets off it and beat it on the fence. That somewhat mollified me. I want to break more things though. It almost frightens me that Ms. Hyde is lurking so near the surface.

I showered and dressed quickly and dashed off for my hair appt. Barb commiserated with me and took my mind off things for a bit. I had her wax my eyebrows for the first time and they turned out uneven. Crap. I'm pale, fat, puffy and now my eyebrows are uneven. Life is so good.

I drove all over the place - Storheim's for lunch, LNT, Office Depot, Sam's Club, Shopko on Military, Family Nutrition and Shopko at BPS. I bought lots of comfy clothes, some toiletries, a shitload of canned stuff, a ladder and a new bathroom scale. I think I'm the happiest about the ladder (a Little Giant) even though I won't be climbing it for a few months.

I called my best friend, T, with the news. I could hardly get it out. I can be all factual & clinical with the family, but not with T. Totally emotional there. I wish we lived closer.

7-15-05
I think I did some serious damage to the already inflamed tendons in my ankle. I had finished watering and was trying to fix a downspout extender. I gave up on the extender, it was dented all to hell anyhow, and went to get a flex-a-spout that wasn't being used by the retaining wall. I misstepped, either stepping on something or on uneven ground. OH! MY! GOD! I screamed and cussed a blue streak and damn near fell off the top tier of the retaining wall. Somehow I regained my balance, but the ankle is toast. I now have to stop every 5 or 6 steps to let the tendon spasm. And screw the Advil prohibition. Tylenol just wasn't cutting it and I couldn't wait to contact the dr, wait for a scrip and trek to the pharmacy. I am a REBEL! I took Advil! Hopefully I won't bleed to death on the table!

I paid our property taxes at the court house. I had to walk up and down a flight of stairs. Ouch. I'm getting quite good at driving with my left foot. Sunshine says he's going to hide all the car keys so I won't be tempted to drive anywhere. Whatever.

I checked out TV's at Best Buy. Sunny wants a flat panel for the bedroom. We'll go back to town tomorrow to buy one. 2k is a lot for a TV though, but it's his decision. He wants to put HD receivers on both the great room and bedroom TV's. He is being so sweet setting up my "prison" with all the creature comforts.

I stopped at Petco for dog food and toys. Dumbass me forgot to get a cart and food and toys are as far from the door as possible. Fortunately a very nice employee asked me if he could help and he carried the bag to the checkout, checked me out and put the bag is my trunk. My hero. I totally didn't get groceries again. We'll pick up what we need tomorrow. Since we didn't have any whipped cream for the strawberry shortcake, Sunny went to DQ . The french silk pie blizzard is very tasty. Booboo and Bonbon licked out my cup and they agreed.

I laundered my new loungewear. I'm running out of time to get it all done. The hospital called and surgery is at 10am, check in at 8am. Hospital policy is to do a urine pregnancy test, but fuck that. I am SO not pregnant and I hate urine tests.

7-16-05
This morning I had entire new adventures in pain. I about killed the dogs because Booboo threw up in our bed. I lost it. If one more thing happens, I just might kill something. I tried to call the on-call resident for something stronger than fucking useless Tylenol. The dr's partner called back and said "Hmm, surgery might not take place because they don't like to operate when swelling is present." Oh, get over yourself. I've yet to see an orthopedic injury without swelling. AND, she wouldn't prescribe narcotics because I'm not her patient. See? Fucking useless!

Sunshine and I went out to look at TV's and drop the dogs off at the kennel early. I need the break and I'm tired of cleaning up after them. Sunshine can't decide on a TV - LCD or regular, cheap or $, buy local or order online. I could give a crap right now.

I did more laundry, changed the bed, cleaned some - the same-o, same-o but a bit more frantic. Sunshine watered the landscape and the world didn't end!!! He had some trouble with a hose reel (the one I broke the bracket off of) and I said "Welcome to my world!" Payback is a bitch.

7-17-05
I did chores all day long. I'm tired and me ankle is letting me know it. I did loads and loads of laundry, vacuuming, dusting, picking up, wiping down, you name it, I did it.

I went out and picked up the dog poo. I probably was not as thorough as usual because it hurt like the devil. 3 or 4 trips around the yard is plenty. I found a piece of the hose reel bracket a good 50 feet from the site of my meltdown. Hee!

So, the house is clean, I didn't vacuum or mop the kitchen floor, which desperately needs it, but crap happens. I guess another 6 weeks won't kill it.

We drove to Milwaukee and ate at an Outback Steakhouse for the first time ever. Damn tasty is was. I can't believe we've never eaten there.

I'm sitting on the bed at the hotel, foot propped up on a pillow with a ziploc bag of ice on my foot. I've got to fill out a surgical form then it's lights out. 6:15 is going to come soon enough.

7-18-05
It hurt to walk this morning - a lot. But I got up, showered and dressed. We got to the hospital about 7:50. I got a wheelchair and Sunshine pushed me to the Day Surgery area. He pushed me up to the checkin and right into the wall with my bad foot. I shrieked and yelled "Sweet Jesus Christ!" He is fond of bashing my foot.

Of course they wanted a urine sample. I refused. Then they said they weren't going to operate. Fucking bastards. I couldn't produce a pee sample because I hadn't had any water since last night, so they drew blood. I'm so pissed, yet another pregnancy test I have to pay for when I not fucking pregnant. I was hooked up to IV's. A short time after 10 they took me out to surgery. I passed out in the hallway outside the door. Those were some good drugs.

I woke up in recovery. The surgery had taken an extra hour - something about positioning me on the table. Once I got to the room, it took forever to get my pain meds working. I was in tears and pulling out my hair. They asked me if I took a lot of vicodin or oxycontin, basically thinking I was a drug abuser. Right.

I had lots of nausea, a lung issue (I felt like I was drowning), I itched from adhesives in the bandaids and tapes. I was a mess. The food was inedible - meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I ate the watermelon and the very kind nurse brought me some more.

I used the bedside commode, not so bad. I'm seeing double now so I'm going to cut bait and run.

7-19-05
I peed about every 2 hours throughout the night. The in-window mini blind didn't work for one of my windows so anyone walking outside could watch me piss. Oh well.

I was in and out of it all morning. I kept falling asleep while writing or reading. I tried not to bother the nurses any more than I had to, but I needed help to pee. The morphine made me itch and nauseous. I wasn't shy about asking for drugs to take care of it. And the room was SO fucking hot. Sunshine had turned down the AC, but it was still 74 or 75 in the room. One of the windows was broken and wouldn't seal so hot air kept coming in. At least it was a private room.

From 2 on, we waited for my discharge and my fruit plate. Fruit was the only thing that didn't make me want to vomit. The fruit plate finally showed up about 4:30. I also got hold of a bottle of baby wipes and cleaned my legs off. I have a huge bruise on my thigh from the tourniquet.

Finally got my discharge papers and orders. It was about 6:15 or so. We hauled ass home as I have 5 prescriptions to fill. We got to the Shopko at 8:15 and it took until 9 to fill them. I was is some serious pain by then. 3 hours with my leg down was not good.